Friday, October 22, 2010

Virtual Breast Cancer

Last time I checked it was still October,  we are still awash in the Sea of Pink,  we are no closer to eradicating breast cancer, and there is a breast cancer Pink Ribbon Barbie ! Thanks Chemobabe for drawing attention to this particular abomination.  Honestly folks, if you can think of it in the Pink Ribbon world, it exists.

Today I thought I would take you for a magical mystery ride into a real-life Bizarro World.  So strap yourself in, sit back and enjoy the ride !

Have you heard of Second Life ?  It's basically social networking in 3-D with a fantasy gaming edge to it.  So you can create a 3-D avatar for yourself, choose your name, look, clothes etc and inhabit a virtual world of your choosing.  You can do all the things that you would do in normal life, like shopping, meeting people, decorate a house, run a business, have a relationship and.....wait for it......have breast cancer !!!!  

Breast Cancer Network of Strength office

You can even send your avatar to a virtual support group where you'll be met by a virtual breast cancer counsellor, and you can invite all your little virtual friends to a virtual breast cancer awareness fundraising event at something called Club Coalesce, where all the virtual money raised goes to helping run the virtual breast cancer support group that you attend in fighting your virtual breast cancer.

Breast cancer fundraiser attended
by very buxom women
Now I don't know about you, but this struck me as completely and utterly bizarre.  If you wanted to inhabit a Utopian world, full of handsome manly men and perfectly proportioned and unrealistically sized women, why on earth would you want cancer to be part of that perfectly proportioned fantastic unreal virtual reality ? 

Well folks it's very simple.  The creators of Second Life aren't in it for free.  It's a business.  And within the Second Life world, you can run a virtual business and earn Linden dollars (yes  it's a virtual currency), and then use your $L profits to purchase more virtual stuff for your perfect little virtual world.  So wouldn't you know it ?  The Breast Cancer Awareness pink ribbon profit-making business has made it to the Second Life Marketplace.  

Breast Cancer Awareness Party Box
because breast cancer is a party !
Because nothing screams sexy like
a breast cancer diagnosis !

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more ridiculous right ?

Breast Cancer Tribute Garden

Now just in case anyone's starting to feel a little teary at the thought of all those poor little virtual buxom breast cancer victims, and the virtual Breast Cancer Awareness Party Box just isn't cheering you up, there is a place you can go to find virtual solace in your now slightly imperfect virtual world.   Yes !  A virtual Breast Cancer Tribute Garden "located within the beautiful Gardens of Absentia, this special area sets out to raise awareness about breast cancer. It is dedicated to remembering both loved ones and survivors of this global disease".

But have no fear.  If you're now so virtually depressed that you feel like you want to jump off the closest virtual cliff and end your miserable virtual life, I say "don't do it!".  You can fix it and make it all go away.  All for the bargain price of $1L.  A magical breast cancer wand !  Just what I've always wanted.  If only it were that simple.

If only it were that simple.


  1. This really takes the cake. I wonder if the survival statistics are better in the second life than in the first.

  2. Well at least you get the chance to magically start over.....

  3. i bet treatment is less painful. maybe you get to magically remove your cancerous breast and replace it with a new one. and there are no metastases or recurrences in that world. it just lets you join the club.

  4. Un-friggin' believable! Glad to see that 1 more "game" is "thriving" off of a crappy experience that myself and other women have gone through and no way have had ANY fun!!

  5. I just think it's so interesting, nay frightening, that given a chance to create an alternative existence in an alternative universe (albeit virtual), that Breast Cancer wasn't one of the things that the Creators chose to leave out. If that's not F'@#ed Up, I don't know what is !!!!

  6. This is beyond insane! Insane doesnt do the insanity justice! A whole new word is required!


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