Sunday, December 5, 2010

Only 19 Shopping Days Til Breastmas! My Top Gift Picks.

To all my dear readers who've been following along over the last few weeks,  you'll be pleased to know that I have stopped wallowing (for now) and I'm back to my usual business of taking cheap shots at the  surrounding breast cancer culture.

And what better way to kick off December, than to firstly remind you that there are only 19 shopping days until Breastmas.

(Okay okay readers, I know we've been in this territory before, but it's been a rough few weeks so I need to ease myself back into the serious business of breast cancer blogging.  Think of this blog post as a little bit of breast cancer brain candy if you will).

So if you're looking for that special something to share with the cancerous person in your life, well nothing says "Merry Breastmas I love you !" like one of these little gift items:

1.  Breastmas Tree Ornaments.  You can never have too many of these unique and tasteful beauties adorning your Breastmas tree as far as I'm concerned.

Ornament Style 1

I think this one works really well, especially if you're looking to tie in a bladder cancer theme as well in your Breastmas Tree trimming.

Ornament Style 2

This is a nice addition to your Breastmas tree, especially if you're feeling nostalgic for all those needle sticks and chemotherapy.  Note the lovely black and white etching of the tattoo hypodermic. Okay it would have been better if there was a picture of an IV pole attached to a port saying something like "Chemo For A Cure", but sadly that doesn't seem to exist.  Yet.    Ah, *sighs very loudly*,  this one just makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over.

Ornament Style 3

In Breastmas Tree decorating, sometimes less is more.  The design and message ? Simple, poignant and elegant.  Nothing more needs to be said.

2.  Earth-tone 3 in 1 Disease Control Concentrate.  75c from every purchase goes to support the fight against breast cancer !  Now before you go adding this to the Holiday Egg-Nog thinking I've managed to find a cancer cure in a bottle, it's disease control for plants.  Not humans.  But that's okay, the plants sickness is my gain.  Yay for chemical concentrates and yay for breast cancer research !

A Cure in A Bottle !
Lucky Plants !
3. Breast Cancer Awareness Pet Clippers.  I know it's kind of annoying and ironic that you're bald, but you have to give the dog a haircut.  Don't worry, Fido will appreciate the fact that he's helping the cause. And if you feel a little peach fuzz coming in,  just give yourself a once over as well.  I just love a gift that does double duty.  Don't you ?  

Note a bonus hat is included !
Great ! Cover your bald head whilst giving Fido a haircut.

4.  Breast Cancer Awareness Balloon.  Amaze your friends at chemotherapy and  balloon-sculpt a pink ribbon  for everyone.  Fantastic fun for all ages and disease stages.

What else can you make ? A pink giraffe ?
 A pink hat ?  A huge pink sausage ?
5. Pink Ribbon Pepper Spray.  Because even though you've had the misfortune of getting breast cancer, there's always the possibility of a violent crime being committed against you.  Yes, you could really be that unlucky.  Always be prepared, and show that perp who's boss, and who's aware of breast cancer. 

Also very useful when your oncologist starts to get on your nerves.....

6. Pink Ribbon lighter.  Now you too can remember those fighting breast cancer when you light up those cigarettes.  And if you smoke a packet a day, think how many times you'll be aware of  breast cancer.  This is just the gift that keeps on giving.

Or use it to spark up a boobie doobie.
Perfect for the medical marijuana recipient in your  life

If you have any other Breastmas gift ideas that you'd like to add to this list, please email me at and I'll feature over the coming weeks.


  1. Spark up a boobie doobie - PRICELESS!

  2. Anna,
    This post gave me a good laugh on a Monday morning! I especially like number three since I am bald and my dog Sophie, the springer, badly needs a trim! Where did you find these ideas anyway? Glad to hear making lists has helped you turn the corner!

  3. Ahhh Nancy it's amazing what you can find when you have nothing better to do than trawl the Interweb for noxious pink ribbon crap......gave me a laugh in writing it as well, and I certainly needed it !

  4. Yeah I wonder where you find them all Anna! Good to hear you sounding pretty buoyant.

  5. Anna, that was going to be my question, but I see I'm not the only one. I swear I think some of these things can't possibly be real. Who would think any of this stuff was a good idea? I didn't think the car air freshener I saw for sale was a good idea, but you know what? I saw one hanging in someone's car last week. I'm sure it means something positive to that person, but I think you should be able to express commitment in better ways than an air freshener or the things you listed.

    Great, funny post. I'm glad you're back.

  6. You know it's funny, I've had quite a few people ask me if all these items are real. And the answer is yes!!! I think I would give my eye teeth to know who is buying but I guess they're out there. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I can't make this stuff up!!! Pathetically hilarious isn't it? If only the same energy that went into dreaming up these products could be put into actually eradicating this disease.....*sigh*

  7. It's amazing the sheer number and types of "pink" products on the market. Thanks for the good laugh, today. No pink Breastmas lights for the Xmas tree? Brenda

  8. Ask and you shall receive Brenda....Merry Breastmas !

  9. I think we need to put a coffee table book together of pink ribbon paraphernalia...really. We could use it as a fundraiser for Breast Cancer Action.

  10. Bahahahah, Anna!! A woman after my own heart...

    I have never seen such a revolting assemblage of pink crap as I saw this past October. Gayle's right. We could come up with a catalog -- both a legit one of items that might actually be useful and a farcical one of all the ceramic figures, rubber duckies, etc., etc. Of course, it might be difficult to decide which category some items belong in...

  11. But who's buying this crap ? Someone is otherwise they wouldn't produce it ? We definitely need to do something though.....I like the book idea but you are right on determining the categories....what's one persons trash is another persons treasure.......

  12. These people, for instance, really astonish me. In fact, it leaves me speechless that people buy any of this stuff, much less the pink ribbon version. I featured this "Crawl for the Cure" baby doll item in one of my previous posts. I mean, gag me!!!


  13. Oh yea the Breast Cancer Baby.....I know that one very well........gag is right !


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.