The First Post......

I am writing this first post on the eve of an important Doctor's appointment.  By tomorrow morning at around 10.30am I expect to hear those three little words, "You have cancer", for the third time in five years.  

I have discovered a new lumpy thing in my neck - around the site of my second occurrence (more on that later).   At this point, I don't think it's a swollen gland, torn ligament, pimple, boil, benign cyst or anything else that has been posited as a much more palatable reason for this lumpy thing in my neck.  Nope, fifty bucks says the news is going to be bad.  

And so once again,  I find myself thinking about making the transition from "Survivor" to "Patient" and all of the stuff that comes along with this identity shift.   As an unwilling inhabitant of that alternative universe,  aka the "Cancer Culture" for the last five years,  I have decided it's time to start documenting my "journey" (hate that term) and provide some type of commentary on what really goes on in this strange reality that I inhabit.  

At the very least, this blog is therapy for me to share and talk about what I want in an unemotional context and, at best,  it may provide some kind of insight as to what it is to live with cancer in today's society.  At worst, it may just become a forum for me to vent my frustrations and and anger at life, the universe and all that jazz.   But in the end, the tone of this blog will be my prerogative as author and participant so please just bear with me.