Pink Boob Awards Gallery Relaunch

Given that the end of the year is fast approaching I thought it a good time to review my blog posts of the past year.  After reviewing my little "Stats" tool, to which I'm completely and unhealthily addicted, it seems that some of my more popular posts were those where I displayed and discussed the more heinous and/or tacky examples of pink ribbon and breast cancer awareness products that are so ubiquitous now, particularly in the U.S.

Her Name?
"A Vision of Hope". BARF!

My love affair with writing these kinds of posts probably stems from Christmas a couple of years ago, when I received as a gift from a well-meaning relative, this vomitous little "breast cancer awareness" figurine at left.  Talk about traumatic! If you're interested, you can read my my full reaction to this gift in the post entitled "The Adventures of Pink Lady: Part I".  It represents my first foray into this kind of a rant, and also explains why I think these kinds of products are simply a marketing scam foisted upon the unsuspecting good spirit of humanity, all in the name of corporate profits dressed up as breast cancer altruism.

I remember at the time, after opening the box, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.  Firstly,  the figurine was marked as being the first in a series, which possibly meant I was going to receive the rest of the series at some point. Arrrgggh!  And secondly,  I couldn't believe that someone actually thought that buying this gift for me was a good idea.   Thirdly, what I was going to say to the well-meaning relative?  I mean what do you say?  Thanks? And thanks for reminding me that I have breast cancer?  And by the way, this doesn't make me feel better?   (I think I completely chickened out of this potentially teachable moment and just muttered thanks, biting down on my tongue. Very hard!).

However, I knew instantly that I needed to keep this gift because it reminds me of all that is wrong with pink ribbon culture, and inspires me everyday to keep writing this blog.  So I put her in my dining room cabinet where she has become quite the dinner party conversation piece and the best excuse I can think of to get on my soapbox to rant about awful pink ribbon products.  I also keep her there in case the well-meaning relative ever visits my house.  Gulp !

Many months later, still feeling completely enraged by the plethora of pink ribbon tat that assaulted my senses everywhere I looked,  I halfheartedly launched something called "The Pink Boob Awards".  Readers sent me their examples, and I posted them to a not-very-exciting list on my blog.  And there the list sat, periodically updated, whenever I found another particularly foul example.  It became clear to me that it was going to be hard to pick a winner, because there were just so many to choose from.  So I just didn't.

Cleaning products and breast cancer.  Hmmmm.

Anyway fast forward to today, with more and more images starting to fill my little desktop picture folder  I realized that I needed to find a better way to preserve and display these images for posterity.  So today, readers I give you the Pink Boob Awards Gallery, featuring the best of the worst pink ribbon and breast cancer awareness stuff as judged by me.  This will be an ongoing feature and can be accessed from the right sidebar at any time.

So please bring me your ridiculous, bring me your egregious, bring me your distasteful and bring me your downright nauseating, and if I think it fits the bill, I'll add it to the Pink Boob Awards Gallery for all to see.

Email me your Pink Boob Awards Gallery nominations to cancerculture@gmail.com,  and it would be great if you could also include an Internet link to the original image source.

Pink Lady Can Fly !

Just when you think you've seen it all, in terms of tacky pink products, I was shocked to see this horrendous little number on the Facebook "targeted" advertisements section of my profile page.

Some of you might recall my entry last year introducing you to Pink Lady.

Anyway it seems as though Pink Lady has now grown wings, and won first place for her glittery garish costume at the Bizarro World Mardi Gras Parade. I wish she would take some of that magic glitter, sprinkle it on her wings and fly the hell out of my face, or at least off of my Facebook page.

Apparently the Facebook genius advert bots, think, that because I became a fan of the Breast Cancer Action Facebook page, I am now interested in all things Breast Cancer, including this awful selection of exploitative pink products. This seems especially ironic, since the Breast Cancer Action group, is the architect and facilitator of the excellent "Think Before You Pink" campaign designed to rid us of these very assaults on the average consumer.

So my point in all of this is, that if anyone thinks that I might like to receive one of these products to help me in my fight against breast cancer, please think again. Quite frankly, I would rather be poked with sharp needles, ingest a serious amount of deadly chemicals, and give my left tit, than have someones hard earned money go to furthering the profits of these corporate buffoons.

The Adventures of Pink Lady: Part I

I'd like to introduce you all to a good friend of mine -  Pink Lady -  as I have come to know her.  Or perhaps you know her by her full name, A Vision of Hope, part of the "Thomas Kinkade Inspirations of Hope Collection". She is the first figurine in the collection, to soon be followed by a spectre of lavendered loveliness called A Picture of Faith.  Apparently a portion of the sale proceeds of these figurines will be donated by their Creator to help fight breast cancer.  She and her pastelly-shaded friend retail for about $19.95 each.  But wait ! There's more ! This collection is limited to only 95 casting days  and each figurine is numbered.

So where am I going with this ?  There's so much material to work with here, especially for the likes of me, apparently living with my chronic case of cancer and feeling generally jaded and pissed off most of the time !  Ah but I digress: let's just start at the beginning shall we ?

I woke up with glee last Christmas to excitedly open the presents which had been collecting under our beautiful Christmas tree.  A mysterious box had arrived several days before addressed to me, and being a keeper of tradition, I diligently placed the unopened box under said Christmas tree along with various other boxes of all shapes and sizes.  (Work with me here people - I'm 38 years old, living with cancer - I need some childish excitement in my life !).  After tearing open all of my wonderful Christmas bounty, at last the mysterious box was before me and begging to be ripped open with all the energy of a five year old child hopped up on a keg of red creaming soda.  At last I opened the box and all was revealed.  

It was like the heavens opened, the sun shone down, angelic voices echoed in my ears, and there she lay.  In all her bedazzled pink lacy finery.  Such sculptural elegance and a body with a set of breasts so finely crafted,  she made Barbie look like a cheap whore.  My mind raced, my blood pressure increased with the excitement and emotion welled up in me.  Her beauty was unsurpassed, and as the tears rolled down my face, I knew that everything would be okay.  Because here she was in MY house.  A Vision of Hope. Edition #7783U.  Surely sent from heaven above (or maybe just China) to spread her message of love and devotion, and her commitment to a cause so just and noble, exemplified by the hidden pink ribbons in her elegant dress (how many can you find in the photograph ?).

Just by gazing upon her, I suddenly felt at ease and knew that all was not lost.  Even with two mastectomies, a bilateral oopherectomy, a shoulder that doesn't move, a nipple reconstruction, night sweats, hot flashes, chemo-damaged organs, radiation scarred tissue and a spirit sorely tested (but not broken), I realized at that moment that there dwelled inside me, nay all those touched by breast cancer, a Pink Lady who is ready to stand up and be counted and fight the war on cancer, all whilst dressed to the nines in an ankle-length pink frock.  And all this hope for the bargain price of $19.95.

Thank you Pink Lady #7783U.  I can't do it without you.  You inspire me to greatness.  As does the $0.000000001c (or thereabouts) that has been donated on my behalf for the simple act of purchasing you.

Further Reading:

• Breast Cancer Action Project: Think Before You Pink