"Boobies" has been a hot topic in the breast cancer blogosphere of late, and if you need to catch up with the discussion from my vantage point take a look at "Boobies". I said it. Now, May I Have Your Attention Please?" by Gayle Sulik.
Upon reading the Huffington Post article this morning, I felt my blood pressure rising, and the deep need to go and add my two-cents worth to the discussion. I also posted on my Facebook page and asked my posse' to join me in my disruptive action. Uneasy Pink and others heeded the call, and so we went to work trying to drill some sense into the debate. The comment thread is worth a read if you have the time.
Of course we got the usual responses to our comments:
"Why are you so bitter over this?"
"I Love Boobies"
"Very serious situations are often made light via jokes. It's not an attempt to belittle the situation, but rather a way to ease the pressure"
"Using the word boobies, which obviously jostles the sticks in some people's mud"
As I tried to explain in varying language forms:
I guess the word "boobies" when used in the context of BREAST CANCER does "jostle the stick in my mud".....especially since both my "boobies" were surgically removed along with my "Babymaker " all by time I was 37...... all because my "boobies" are now killing me at the ripe old age of 40.
But I soon realized that my rational arguments were not being heard by the boobie-obsessed majority so today I have decided to take an attitude of "if you can't beat 'em join 'em". I have an idea that I hope you will all share with your communities.
Since we're all so comfortable with the term "boobies" as a way of "raising Awareness", "easing the pressure" and "using humor" in talking about a deadly illness I propose the following adjustments to The Cancer Dictionary:
- Breast Cancer = BOOBIE Cancer
- Ovarian Cancer = HIGHBALLS Cancer
- Uterine Cancer = BABYMAKER Cancer
- Testicular Cancer = BALL Cancer
- Scrotal Cancer = NUTSACK Cancer
- Penile Cancer = DICK Cancer
- Anal Cancer = BUNGHOLE Cancer
- Rectal Cancer = POOPCHUTE Cancer
- Colon Cancer= POOPMAKER Cancer
- Bladder Cancer= PISSER Cancer
- Vaginal Cancers = I can't decide whether I like PUSSY Cancer or just plain CUNT Cancer
Is anyone offended now?
Because I'm seeing HUGE fundraising $$$$ if we can all get on board with my proposals.
And I know the kids are going to go ape for the "I Love PoopChutes" bracelets.
As for the schools? Well not so much, but praise the Lord for our First Amendment rights to free speech. And so long as the kids are happy, right? And the retailers.