So I'm going back to my old standby for now. Poking fun at all the pink ribbon crap that's out there.
And with Breastmas just around the corner, it's not too late to pick up a few last minute gifts that say "I'm Aware of Breast Cancer and Merry Breastmas".
So without further ado, here are my last minute suggestions for the breast cancer victim in your life:
1. Breast Cancer Research Grill Charms. For all the red meat you should be grilling and eating. And be sure to get it really good and charcoaly. And carcinogenic.
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| Make sure your steak has the pink ribbon grill charm on it Then there'll be no mistake that you're the one with breast cancer. Just in case anyone wasn't sure. |
2. Pink Ribbon Guns. Okay we've all heard about these, but they're still out there and there's still time to purchase one to put under your Breastmas Tree. Now feel even better about shooting all those furry little creatures. Because even though you kill things, you're still aware of breast cancer. Breast cancer and guns. A marketing marriage made in heaven to be sure !
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| Note the beautiful awareness ribbon detail on the top of the gun carriage. And a portion of the sale proceeds go to a Breast Cancer AWARENESS Charity. Not research. AWARENESS. I feel even better about purchasing this gun now. |
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| Unfortunately you can't buy this one. It was custom-made and raffled off for "breast cancer charity" a couple of years ago. But it's nice to dream, and perhaps if you're very good you can write a letter to Santa Cause and you might find one in your Breastmas stocking next year. |
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| You've got the Breast Cancer Awareness gun. Now top off your thoughtful gift, with matching breast cancer awareness gun cases. Because there's nothing like being fully accessorized at all times. Look good and feel better because you match ! |
3. Pink Ribbon Knife. If you're going for a theme of breast cancer awareness AND deadly weapons then you can't go past a breast cancer awareness knife for the ideal awesome deadly stocking stuffer. (Actually I stole this idea from Katie @ Uneasy Pink but it's a fair trade for the pink garbage truck I gave her a couple of months ago ;).
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| Good for gutting small furry animals and lancing pesky tumors as well. |
4. Pink Ribbon Archery Arrows. The cancerous person in your life doesn't like guns ? No problem ! These arrows will still do the job just as well, and support breast cancer via Susan G. Komen For The Cure. Oops I said "For the Cure". Hope I don't find a legal summons in my Breastmas stocking. But do yourself a favor and buy these arrows and your special cancerous person can kill stuff AND show your fellow hunters that you're "For the Cure". Oops I said it again. I can't help myself. For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure, For the Cure,.......okay I'm done now.
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| KILLING STUFF FOR THE CURE ! |
5. Breast Cancer Awareness Beer Pong Table. Yes readers, I know. I hear you swooning already. Leave it to me to find the ultimate in unique and tasteful Breastmas gifts. Now you and your loved ones can be aware of breast cancer as you gather around your new Beer Pong Table and indulge in some seriously altruistic binge drinking. This one actually makes me feel a little teary thinking of all the touching moments you're going to have. Enjoy !
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| Seriously, how can your Breast Cancer Awareness philanthropic efforts be complete without this little beauty. BINGE DRINKING FOR THE CURE ! |
6. Breast Cancer Awareness Cigarrette Case. My last gift pick of the Pink Ribbon lighter attracted a lot of attention, and what better way to round off that gift than with a matching cigarrette case. Now smoke in real Breast Cancer Awareness style. Be the envy of your smoker friends. And the most Breast Cancer Aware.
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| SMOKE FOR THE CURE ! Could also double as a pill box for all your chemotherapy drugs. Lovely ! |
Just out of interest, do they sell 'Bra's for the cure' ? Would that possibly be more tackier than these hideous items? (bro)
ReplyDeleteAsk and you shall receive....
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kohls.com/upgrade/webstore/product_page.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524892674046&pfx=pfx_shopcompare&cid=shopping3&mr:trackingCode=82CD627E-A4CC-DF11-92F8-0019B9C04BE4&mr:referralID=NA
....now I really need something more challenging....
OMG. Arrows? No. Can't be real. You're some kind of amazing graphic designer, right? I'm sitting poolside while my son has his class, shaking my head in disbelief.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh, Anna. Hilarious post.
You don't think it's important to cover all deadly weapon bases in the fight against breast cancer, Stacey ?? Shame on you! I made sure to include links with all photos this time to deal with any skepticism. Totally real !!!! I don't know how much further I can go with this........
ReplyDeleteI must admit the cigarette case make me truly laugh out loud...
ReplyDeleteBut listen, as the Accidental Amazon, I'm totally all over pink ribbon arrows! I also found a place that carried pink bows, but they were made of polymers or something. So, I'm holding out for a high-end recurve bow, made of wood, maybe with a little tasteful pink trim...
My motto: "Taking Aim at Breast Cancer!"
Kathi your Breastmas wish is my command.......
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bowhuntingstuff.com/product/GENESIS-PINK-KIT/Genesis-Pink-Lemonade-Bow-Kit---Help-Fight-Breast-Cancer.html?meta=GBASE&metacpg=GENESIS-PINK-KIT&utm_source=gbase&utm_medium=CPC&utm_content=&utm_campaign=GENESIS-PINK-KIT
It's interesting that that pink ribbon collectibles are so popular, just like shamrocks, shot glasses, or precious moments figurines. I wonder why we're so enamored with collecting things. And, I wonder what these items actually mean to the people who buy them, and what they end up doing with them. If you're an Accidental Amazon, then I see how the pink bows and arrows hold significance! If you're not... then what are they for??
ReplyDeleteGayle, I am completely fascinated by this question as well. WHO is buying this stuff and why ? I actually received one of these horrendous items as a Christmas present a couple of years ago. I have lived in fear ever since that I am going to receive the ENTIRE collection. I actually keep it in my dining room cabinet as a reminder of all that is wrong with breast cancer culture. And just in case the misguided relative ever visits my house. GULP. This is she but now she's wall-art. I got the figurine: http://www.bradfordexchange.com/products/108981001_breast-cancer-awareness-wall-decor-art.html. I blogged about it under the title of "The Adventures of Pink Lady"....Actually thinking about it there must be an entire thesis to be written on why people buy this stuff.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your blog, which sums up so many of my grinchy feelings (especially last October) since I was diagnosed, every time I see, say, an entire football team playing a game wearing pink gloves.
ReplyDelete